Life after a tick bite

Image from http://randolphcountyhealth.org/images/lyme_tick.jpg

When I started this blog, I had a ton of great ideas for topics that I wanted to write about. My list is still hanging around somewhere, but obviously I haven't gotten around to creating anything new.

There's kind of a good reason for that. The past few weeks I've been sick, and only recently discovered that I contracted Lyme Disease.

When I first got diagnosed, I felt like a bunch of singers should have burst in the door of the doctor's office and treat me to an "It's Lyme Disease" song-and-dance routine. I was happy to figure out why I kept feeling like crap for so long. I had enjoyed the hospitality of a local emergency room and seen every Nurse Practitioner at my family practice. I familiarized myself with the after-hours on-call physicians. As it turns out, the cause was completely unsurprising. Predictable, even.

I mean, I have been running around tick-infested pastures and forests all summer in a county that is an absolute hotbed for Lyme disease. I didn't keep that a secret from my doctors, but it still took a little while to get my diagnosis and treatment on the right track.

It was caught early. Antibiotics have been kicking butt. This will soon be a thing of the past.

However, I feel like the obligatory public service announcement is in order.

Check yourself. Pay attention to your health. If you're sick and not getting better, advocate for yourself. Report all of your symptoms, no matter how inconsequential they may seem.

I got bit on my back, so my regular tick check didn't catch it. My doctors were wonderful, but a simple examination would have revealed the tick bite and bullseye rash long before I was spiking fevers and sprouting red blotches all over myself. Before the blotches, everyone thought it was a particularly nasty cold that would resolve on its own. I didn't mention that I had a persistent headache with neck stiffness that didn't respond to painkillers. I thought that stress and anxiety issues were making everything seem worse than it actually was.

In the end, it was all connected to a nasty little bugger with a nasty bacterial friend.

Fun for Friday

Since we are only just getting to know each other, here are five fun facts about me.

#1 - I am a twin.

As a child I was often annoyed that friends, teachers and parents treated us as a unit instead of individuals. I didn't get my own birthday cake. It took me a while to get my own friends.

Now that most people are unaware that I am a twin, things are much more amusing. We are nothing alike, and we don't even look related. I enjoy divulging the news and showing a picture (or introducing the real person!) The looks are priceless.

She's done beauty pageants and modeling gigs. She enjoys the spotlight, and I can hardly apply makeup properly. I'm more of a "get my hands dirty and get stuff done" kind of person.

#2 - I make things.

Once upon a time, I wanted to go to art school. (Then I did, and it was a small waste of money.) But ever since I can remember, I have been making things. Artsy-crafty bits, clothing, bread, homemade shampoo, the odd hammock.. Not everything has been successful, but it is always a fun challenge.

#3 - Gatos!

I love cats. When I was more seriously into art, I used to have an art website called AngryGato. I now have an angry gato of my very own. His name is Bowser. He bites, but I love him anyway.

#4 - I hate mountains.

Image from: http://www.nps.gov/noca/planyourvisit/images/Pierce_Mtn_Trail-1.JPG

Specifically, I hate climbing mountains. I've had lots of bad experiences with them.

For some reason, climbing a mountain always results in pain and suffering for me. It's not like I'm in terrible physical shape and can't handle the workout. I hate the pressure of having to reach the top. I don't care about conquering nature. I especially don't care if I'm "almost there" when I've decided I've had enough.

I've seen mountain views. They don't do anything for me. When I've run out of water and the bugs are chomping at every inch of exposed skin, I'm done.

#5 - The good ol' hockey game!

Image from: http://www.fanattic.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Tim-Thomas.jpg

I love hockey. My team is.. yes, the 2011 Stanley Cup Champion Boston Bruins. Favorite player is #22: fourth-line leader, enforcer and ginger-extraordinaire Shawn Thornton.

I haven't always loved hockey, but I have to thank my boyfriend and his family for getting me into it. They have a rich family tradition with the sport.

I hope to do a fun feature like this every Friday, but we'll see how things shake out.

What's the deal with the imaginary farm?

(Note: This also appears under my "Pages" but I thought it would be nice as its own entry.)

In a real sense, I live in a small apartment with no yard. I dream about green pastures, laying hens and fruit trees. I am studying sustainable agriculture in college, but my everyday life is filled with modern convenience.

As for the blog, this "imaginary farm" is a place for me to share my personal experiences with food, agriculture, research and education. It is a place for me to explore the space between ideas and actions in hopes that my life will more closely mirror my ideals.

I have been interested in sustainable agriculture, "doing-it-yourself," food ethics and the like for years. Most of the people that I share my life with aren't as interested in these issues as I am. We have grown up in malls, supermarkets, in front of televisions and computers. We don't go outside as much as we used to, but I still have fond childhood memories of long summer days under the sun.

I want more than memories. I also do not want to preach or alienate those around me by chanting "SUSTAINABILITY OR DEATH!"

Go do a search on sustainable agriculture news blogs. It's doom and gloom out there. It's not my mission to inform the masses about the evils of GMO's or the perils of budget cuts to sustainable farm services. I might mention them occasionally, but there are plenty of good sources out there. The internet doesn't need me for that.

I want to focus on solutions rather than dwell on problems. Where is progress being made? What can I do to contribute? I want to feel good about doing good things, and I want to share that with others.

I am hoping that my stories can provide a small support to those who find themselves in a similar place. With each small step, we can gently re-work our lives to fit our intentions.

Perhaps someday this imaginary place will be real.

Lessons in Field Research

I have been working on my bachelor's degree since the fall of 2004. For the past few years, I laughed whenever someone asked when I expect to graduate. That's what happens when you bounce around to three different schools to dabble in five different majors. It has been a long and winding road, but I think I can finally see the cap and gown somewhere up ahead.

This time next year, I should have that lovely piece of paper. I can't wait.

That doesn't mean that it's all downhill from here. There is still work to be done. Lots of it, actually. The biggest piece is my senior capstone project: a field study in agroecology.

I hit the ground running in January once spring term started. February was devoted to cranking out a research proposal while squeaking by in my other courses. I received a grant for my project and began counting down the days until my research officially began.

Now, I'm counting down the days until it is over. (Cue the sad trombone.)

Anyone who does research can tell you that it's never as simple or easy as you want it to be. The natural world does not organize itself to fit into the little box of your research topic.

Stuck in the mud

As an undergraduate researcher in a new program, it seemed like I am often caught between knowing too little and expecting too much of my research. I have aced the exams, but applying that knowledge to research is a whole other game. I believed it would be a breeze.. some hard work, sure, but straightforward and manageable. Skipping over the boring details, suffice it to say that I was wrong. Very wrong.

Field research in particular is tricky, because nature tends to just do what it wants. Mother Nature doesn't care about your moist-eyed hopes and dreams. She will throw you into the thornbushes just to see you cry. Methods don't work, data is limited, sampling schemes change.. all because you don't know what you're dealing with until you're out there. Only when you are soaked with sweat, up to your ankles in mud, battling through thickets of Multiflora Rose do you realize that you're getting eaten alive by mosquitoes.. and your own doubts.

When nameless terrors attack

Even when things have been just dandy, several mornings have greeted me with anchor-arms and a lead stomach. Sometimes sleep just doesn't come. For weeks, I hit a wall of sheer anxiety. Sometimes words formed in my head that gave a vague reason for my unease, but mostly it was a paralyzing, nameless fear. The hardest thing was to keep telling myself that the easiest way through it was forward. I couldn't quit.

Now, things are getting better. Each day brings me one step closer to my goals, even if I just want to be done already. The anxiety has mostly receded, and I can take the time to enjoy a sunny day out in a pasture.

Lessons learned: First and foremost, just keep swimming!

No matter how many times you read Krebs' Rules for Ecological Research, you can be sure that you will run into problems. You will learn what it is to be flexible. Your research will change and evolve. You will stress out about everything. Just keep going.

Be creative!

Just because you collect the wrong data or can't draw conclusions from your study doesn't mean your time is wasted. Find a way for your work to still have meaning for others.

Be proud of what you're doing.

You are taking ownership for your own learning. Even if you feel like your study is a complete failure, you're in good company. Scientific discovery is built on mountains of failed experiments. Excellence comes more easily with experience, and you are on your way there.

Share your story

Our greatest moments can come from these kinds of struggles. Have you had any similar experiences? What lessons have you learned?

Greetings.

I felt the urge to create a blog today.

This isn't anything new. I have taken up residence in faded corners of the Internet before. I'm not sure exactly what the point of this blog is, or how I will adorn this new little space, but it seems introductions are in order.

Twentysomething, former college dropout. Fledgling scientist, aspiring writer/educator. A bit of a late-bloomer.

I want to tell stories. I fall in love with ideas and memories. I struggle with being polite and graceful. I am an excellent student, but I am afraid that I may not be good at much else. I am slowly finding my niche. Hockey gets me through the winter months.

Let's see what unfolds. What is your story?